Slow down you crazy child. Take the phone off the hook and disappear for awhile.

The past few weeks have been pretty intense. I adore my friends dearly, I do. But we're all getting a little fed up with each other and the drama is getting crazy for some reason. Sooo... I think I'm gonna take a little break.

I went on a ten mile walk a couple of days ago. It was so nice to just be alone with my own thoughts for a little bit. I hardly ever am alone anymore being so busy with school, work, and friends. I thought about a lot of things but mainly my dating life and my social life because that's been on my mind more than anything lately. I was just walking down the main road to my house, but at one point I decided to turn and then I wandered to somewhere I'd never been before. It was beautiful. There were green and golden fields and the mountains were so close, bursting with oranges and reds and yellows. The road was lined with sunflowers, almost the entire way home. Sunflowers are my favorite flower, in case you weren't aware. The sun was setting and it gave the whole atmosphere a sort of golden, rosy glow. I just breathed it all in and  kept on walking. I had no idea where I was, which felt a little relieving. I had nowhere to be, no one to see, I knew which direction home was, and that was all I needed.
I thought about who I am. It's a little cliche but I guess that's something everyone's constantly trying to figure out or change or keep sight of. So I went back to the basics.

I am Maren Jeanette Hauglid. I've always loved my middle name because it's French. I was indifferent to my first name until I found out it means "of the sea" which I thought was wonderfully poetic and I've loved the name ever since. I love people. I love people more than anything else probably. Nothing makes me happier than having close relationships with friends and family. Sometimes that gets me into trouble though. I love my sister Camille. She and I have some awesome times together. I love learning, but I hate tests and homework. I love traveling. I love sunflowers. I love walking in the rain. I love my longboard. I love to curl up in my big fuzzy blanket to watch Modern Family with my mom and dad. I adore animals. I love summer and taking walks barefooted. I love hamburgers and fries and malts. I love to read. I love the gospel. And beyond the basics it gets a little complicated and confusing to figure out exactly who I am.

And although I'm a little bit heartbroken right now about how certain things have turned out, I'm going to trust that it's all for the best. I want to focus more on the gospel and becoming like my Savior. I want to spend more time with my family. I need to focus more on school. I want to work towards a study abroad in April. I'm going to put time and effort into making more friends up here in Provo. I'm going to have to let go of some old friends.

I'm moving on.

Again.

Never or now.

Not my usual taste in music. But it's good to expand my horizons a little I think. I really like this song.

In Search of A Best Friend

I saw a facebook friend of mine had one of these. I thought it was funny. So I made my own.

Application to be Maren’s Best Friend

Name:

Age:

Phone Number:

Major:

School:

Previous Best Friend:

Reason for Leaving Best Friend:

Favorite Music:

Favorite Movies:

Favorite Foods:

What Do You Do For Fun?

Days Available:

Why I Should Choose You:

Signature______________________________________        Date___________

A silhouette.

Shadows settle on the place, that you left.
Our minds are troubled by the emptiness.
Destroy the middle, it's a waste of time.
From the perfect start to the finish line.

And if you're still breathing, you're the lucky ones.
'Cause most of us are heaving through corrupted lungs.
Setting fire to our insides for fun
collecting names of the lovers that went wrong
the lovers that went wrong.

We are the reckless,
we are the wild youth
chasing visions of our futures
one day we'll reveal the truth
that one will die before he gets there.

And if you're still bleeding, you're the lucky ones.
'Cause most of our feelings, they are dead and they are gone.
We're setting fire to our insides for fun.
Collecting pictures from the flood that wrecked our home,
It was a flood that wrecked this...

...and you caused it...
...and you caused it...
...and you caused it...

Well I've lost it all, I'm just a silhouette,
A lifeless face that you'll soon forget,
My eyes are damp from the words you left,
ringing in my head, when you broke my chest.
ringing in my head, when you broke my chest.

And if you're in love, then you are the lucky one,
'cause most of us are bitter over someone.
Setting fire to our insides for fun,
to distract our hearts from ever missing them.
but I'm forever missing him.

and you caused it,
and you caused it,
and you caused it.

Daniel's song.

Adorable, no? :)

Better together—Yeah, whatever.

Better together—

Apparently not.

We had to fall apart.

You were so clever,

Or so I thought,

You had to break my heart.

I am yours,

I heard you say,

But that’s not what you meant.

Every line

Caused me to stay

But you weren’t the dream that I dreamt.

Better together—

Apparently not.

We had to fall apart.

But as I fell,

I realized so well,

You were never a dream of my heart.

concert craziness.

I've attended so many concerts this summer I can't actually remember all of them. I loved it though. I love music more than a lot of things, so hearing it live and seeing the artists perform is such an awesome experience for me.
Let's see, I went to...
Twilight Concert Series (Band of Horses, Joshua James, Iron and Wine)
Rooftop Concert Series (Isaac Russell, Fictionist and something else I can't remember)
Andrew Bird
and the Piano Guys.

Band of Horses was slightly disappointing. Joshua James was as good as always. I liked Iron and Wine but they played each song a lot differently than recorded and I understand why... but it's harder to sing along with. Isaac Russell was awesome and he seemed uncommonly chipper. Fictionist was okay but New Electric Sound and Jen Bloslin opened for them and they were both amazing performances! Andrew Bird was my favorite concert I've been to this year, he was absolutely amazing and I'm seriously in love with that man. I think he bleeds music probably. The Piano Guys were also one of my favorite concerts this year. They are always entertaining and incredibly talented.
Here are some photos from my concert adventures:

Photo Credit: Justin Hackworth at Isaac Russell

 Bret likes shoes. So he took a picture I guess.

 Haha.

Photo Credit: Justin Hackworth at Fictionist.

 Iron and Wine

 Twilight Concert Series

 Me and Braden :)

The love of my life playing the violin--taken on my cell phone's terrible camera.

There ya go. Imagine Dragons on the 29th. Can't wait.

Silversun Pickups

I love this song right now.

This isn't goodbye.

I don’t know if you remember this post from when I was moving back home for the summer. I kind of alluded to being a bit scared. What I left out was that I was freaking terrified.  I imagined myself spending every evening alone at home while Camille worked. I was scared about not having friends. I knew my friendships with my Provo friends wouldn’t be as strong—that’s how it always goes with the distance. I was so scared of feeling lonely.  

I decided to pray. I prayed for the opportunity to make friends and I asked that if I did my part and actually sought out good friends and made the effort to be a good friend, that I would be able to find people who would influence me for the better and who I would be able to trust. Well, our first Sunday here Camille and I were welcomed immediately by everyone. I worked hard to be the friendliest and most confident I could be and just trusted that the Lord would help me find the friends I needed at that time if I did my best.

I met a lot of awesome people and I was surprised at how easily I could just forget about my own insecurities if I just went looking for people to talk to and made sure they had a good time instead of focusing on whether I was enjoying myself or not. By doing this, I always came back feeling super happy. I met some of the most amazing people this summer. I could probably go on and on about everyone and how much each friendship meant to me, but I’d really like to focus on Cody for this post. This is partly because he leaves for his mission in two days and partly because he really is my best friend.

photo credit: daniel driskill

Even though I became friends with a couple of Cody’s before I actually became friends with him, we definitely clicked fast and we became best friends faster than I’ve ever become best friends with anyone. I think this is because he’s basically the best at listening and just being there for someone. He was always the first person I’d go to when I needed to talk.

One night, Daniel and I were talking on my back porch and we got on the topic of how awesome of a friend Cody is—we often do that since we both look up to him so much.  I mentioned that Cody really seems to look out for me. Daniel said something about how he thought Cody sort of viewed me as a sister. So since then I have called him my brother. I have always kind of wanted a brother, so I was really happy about that. We pretty much are like siblings. And it’s really awesome.

We’ve been on so many adventures this summer.  Hikes, walks, Summer Sensation, a paper route until five in the morning, Fiesta Days, he can handle me when I’m on six hour energy, shop-carting (basically shop cart racing), star gazing in Payson canyon, random parties, guitar hero (he improved so much this summer!), my longboarding accident, crazy drama, tons of tiki punch drinks, Red Robin, movies, and so much more. We hung out pretty much every day. We’ve had so many awesome heart to heart talks. He’s probably the best hugger you’ll meet.

Cody is like the sweetest, most patient, most spiritual person ever. I look up to him so much and he sets such an amazing example for me. I want to be like him in so many ways. I’m so grateful for everything he’s done for me in the past four months. Cody was one of the biggest answers to my prayers, he really has helped me so much this summer. I'll miss him so much but I know he’ll be one of best missionaries because he has so much love and patience for people. He’ll definitely change lives for the better out there. 

So, good luck Cody. I freaking love you and I’m going to miss you!