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Break ups suck.
Every. Single. Time. It doesn’t matter who
broke up with who or if you wanted it to be over anyway. Break ups mean that
someone who was a huge part of your life is suddenly not a huge part anymore,
if they are even a part of it at all, and it's pretty hard to get used to at first. After it’s done, you remember every
single good thing about the relationship and you forget everything bad.
Everyone else thinks you’re crazy because to them, it simply means you’re going
to stop hanging out with that person. No big deal. Just move on.
Right?
Wrong.
Because you remember everything. Every single kiss. Every single cheesy
word. All the “I love yous” and the hand holds. The inside jokes and everything
you thought was cute. You remember the butterflies. The good morning and goodnight
texts. And suddenly it’s all over
and you find yourself crying because you saw a Colorado license plate and it
reminded you of how you used to play the license plate game with him.
I’ve been through more break ups than I’d really care to
admit. And they were all under very different circumstances. Some allowed us to
be friends for years afterwards, while other circumstances forced us to leave each others’ lives
completely. Some, I was more than happy, almost relieved, to get out of, while
others I could barely bring myself to let go of. Some of them sucked more than others. Some I was able to get
over within days, while others took months to heal. But what they all had in
common was that they suck. Break ups suck. I haven’t been known to deal with
them in a really healthy way, so after having been through a few, I’ve begun to
develop my own grieving process. Which, surprisingly, has shortened the process
and made it less painful.
Obviously it’s different for everyone. So, that being said, here is my
personal break up survival guide.
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Stay Busy-This is may be the most important
thing for me. If I stay busy with my school work, my friends, my family, my
music, movies, tv, anything really, I can get my mind off of what happened and
I stop asking self-destructive questions.
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Don’t Dwell-Oh man, this one is so hard. After a
break up, it’s so easy to just replay everything over and over. You go over
everything and wonder where it went wrong or maybe how it could have been fixed
or how you should have handled it. Or maybe you just dwell on remembering all
the good stuff and you get caught up in feeling sad you don’t have that
anymore. Don’t do it. Stop it right there and go hang out with someone or eat
ice cream. Let yourself think about it and work through it, but don’t dwell on
it. Give yourself a break and let yourself have time to heal.
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Talk About It-For some people, this doesn’t
help. But for me, it’s really vital to my moving on. If I can externally talk
about it, cry about it, or complain about it, I actually am able to work through
it internally better. Sometimes it’s really good to get sympathy and feedback
from other people as well. That’s why, if you are going through a break up,
talk about it with your girl friends. Guys usually just don’t know what to do haha. Just don’t do this too much. It can get
old and annoying for the person listening if you consistently whine about your
break up. But most people are pretty understanding during the first week or so.
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Think Good Thoughts-Don’t blame yourself for
what happened. Don’t even blame the other person. Recognize it just wasn’t
meant to be, and that’s okay. Something
better will come along for both of you and you’ll both be happier. One thing
that really helps me, and is probably kind of cliché, is telling myself that
I’m going to be the best I can be so that I know for sure they are missing out.
It’s petty and immature probably but it helps me move on and keeps me striving
to be my best self. Later, I don’t
even care what they think of me anymore but it really helps while I do. You
know how you’re friends say ‘Well, he’s the one missing out?” Yeah, just
believe it. Live it. Remember that
good things are in your future, maybe even better than what you had before.
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Eat Comfort Food-I tend to fluctuate between
eating too much or too little when I’m upset. I’ve found it’s better to eat too
much. If you need a carton of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream, just go for it. If you
don’t eat at all, your lack of energy and nutrition may just make it harder to
get over it.
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Be With People-This will help you realize that
you have friends and family who care about you and maybe you need to focus on
them more anyway.
Remember that Everyone Goes Through Break Ups-cool people break up, celebrities break up, your parents probably had break
ups, it doesn’t make you inferior or broken. It just didn’t work out with that person. But that doesn’t mean
it won’t work out in the future.
Listen to Break Up Music-Seriously, There’s
nothing better than that. I tend to listen to a lot of Taylor Swift (I know, I know
it’s embarrassing) but she has a good selection of break up songs. Some angry,
some sad, some empowering.
My Current Playlist:
All Too Well-Taylor Swift
Last Kiss- Taylor Swift
Sad Beautiful Tragic-Taylor Swift
Sweet Nothing-Calvin Harris Ft. Florence and the Machine
Stay-Rihanna
In case you can't tell... I may or may not be going through a break up... mwahaha.
Oh, and I forgot. Most importantly, let it go.
