Thursday, September 27, 2012
Slow down you crazy child. Take the phone off the hook and disappear for awhile.
The past few weeks have been pretty intense. I adore my friends dearly, I do. But we're all getting a little fed up with each other and the drama is getting crazy for some reason. Sooo... I think I'm gonna take a little break.
I went on a ten mile walk a couple of days ago. It was so nice to just be alone with my own thoughts for a little bit. I hardly ever am alone anymore being so busy with school, work, and friends. I thought about a lot of things but mainly my dating life and my social life because that's been on my mind more than anything lately. I was just walking down the main road to my house, but at one point I decided to turn and then I wandered to somewhere I'd never been before. It was beautiful. There were green and golden fields and the mountains were so close, bursting with oranges and reds and yellows. The road was lined with sunflowers, almost the entire way home. Sunflowers are my favorite flower, in case you weren't aware. The sun was setting and it gave the whole atmosphere a sort of golden, rosy glow. I just breathed it all in and kept on walking. I had no idea where I was, which felt a little relieving. I had nowhere to be, no one to see, I knew which direction home was, and that was all I needed.
I thought about who I am. It's a little cliche but I guess that's something everyone's constantly trying to figure out or change or keep sight of. So I went back to the basics.
I am Maren Jeanette Hauglid. I've always loved my middle name because it's French. I was indifferent to my first name until I found out it means "of the sea" which I thought was wonderfully poetic and I've loved the name ever since. I love people. I love people more than anything else probably. Nothing makes me happier than having close relationships with friends and family. Sometimes that gets me into trouble though. I love my sister Camille. She and I have some awesome times together. I love learning, but I hate tests and homework. I love traveling. I love sunflowers. I love walking in the rain. I love my longboard. I love to curl up in my big fuzzy blanket to watch Modern Family with my mom and dad. I adore animals. I love summer and taking walks barefooted. I love hamburgers and fries and malts. I love to read. I love the gospel. And beyond the basics it gets a little complicated and confusing to figure out exactly who I am.
And although I'm a little bit heartbroken right now about how certain things have turned out, I'm going to trust that it's all for the best. I want to focus more on the gospel and becoming like my Savior. I want to spend more time with my family. I need to focus more on school. I want to work towards a study abroad in April. I'm going to put time and effort into making more friends up here in Provo. I'm going to have to let go of some old friends.
I'm moving on.