The Incredible Sinking Lorelais.

Last night, I got home around 11:30, and as usual, I locked the door and flipped off the lights on the main floor. I ran up the stairs because, honestly, I'm really afraid of the dark. Then, without thinking, my eyes immediately focused on the little crack between the bottom of Camille's closed door and the carpet. No sliver of light. Of course she wouldn't be awake--she has to get up at 5:30 every morning. I shrugged off the disappointment and showered and got ready for bed. I curled up under my warm covers, and then I started thinking. I thought about everything that is stressing me out, and my friends, and my week. I thought about all the stories I wanted to tell Camille but now can't even remember that well because every night I come home too late or I come home right when she is working. I think she thinks I'm never home and I think she's never home, but really we're both never home and when we are it's just at the wrong times. And then I wondered if she even actually misses me at all because she's got Julie and other girl friends. I was reminded of a particular Gilmore Girls episode (because apparently I have the whole series memorized) where Lorelai and Rory, who are mother and daughter as well as best friends, are much too busy to even talk to each other. Rory is too busy with finals and really stressing out about school and everything. Lorelai is working on getting the inn together, realizing she is going to have to go into way more debt than she had originally planned for and has to ask for money. They both really want to talk to each other but every time one calls or visits, the other is already in another meeting or something else like that. Finally, at the end of the episode they both have meltdowns from the pressure of school and finances, but the thing that always got me was how Rory tells Dean basically that "All I want is to talk to my mom. I just really miss my mom." and Lorelai tells Luke "All I want to do is see Rory, actually even just talk to her." And they both sound soooo sad. It's neither one's fault and they don't even know that they both miss each other that much.
And yeah, obviously Camille and I aren't that dramatic, my life isn't Gilmore Girls (thank goodness) but I do think I understand that episode better. Cause lately I just really want to talk to my sister.

But in happier news, last night I had a really good talk with this one kid. He's only four years older than me but apparently that can really make a difference in maturity sometimes! He talked mostly, and I just listened, but I think I really did need to hear exactly what he felt like he should tell me. I've decided I can step it up a little in my spiritual life. I am doing okay, but I can always do better so I'm going to. So, goodbye to nights where I'm too busy/tired to read my scriptures. They're gonna get read. I'm going to try to be the kind of friend who brings people up and not down. And I am never ever ever going to date a player.

The end.